


here we are in the weeds again

by ThatWeirdGuyInTheBushes



Series: as though he could harness the sun [2]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Church Prime, Emotional Manipulation, Exile, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Religious Guilt, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, dream being a bitch, religious zealot tommyinnit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29909733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatWeirdGuyInTheBushes/pseuds/ThatWeirdGuyInTheBushes
Summary: Dream used to understand. Dream doesn’t give anything anymore.Although, that’s not really true, is it? Dream took his home, and now he’s given him understanding. Given him a friend.Dream prays with him. So maybe Tommy is the one who doesn’t get it, anymore.-The first thing Tommy does in exile is make a shrine.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Darryl Noveschosch & TommyInnit
Series: as though he could harness the sun [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194149
Comments: 25
Kudos: 104





	here we are in the weeds again

**Author's Note:**

> religious tommy pogchamp
> 
> the title is from Boot Theory by Richard Siken

The first thing Tommy does is make a shrine.

It’s not the same as Church. Not even close. Tommy doesn’t like shrines all that much if he’s honest. Shrines are only for  _ asking. _ He always feels selfish when he goes for so long without being able to sit in front of the altar and give thanks for all he has. But he has to have Holy water for that.

He can live with it. He’ll be back eventually, and he can give thanks then, just like he did in Pogtopia.

Dream prays with him sometimes. It feels like the old days, before the wars and the discs and L’Manberg made enemies of them. When brotherhood meant something to Dream.

Tommy has sworn Holy brotherhood with four people in his life. The first was Deo when he was fourteen years old. Deo was the only other worshipper of Prime that Tommy had met in Skyblock. It was only natural that they became brothers after moving to SMPEarth.

The second was Wilbur. Wilbur didn’t believe in Prime at all. Wilbur believed in the Sky Gods: some old, long-buried pantheon that Tommy doesn’t think he’ll  _ ever  _ understand. But he still asked to become brothers before SMPEarth folded. Being the leader in a ritual was foreign. He had taken his knife and sliced along both of their thumbs, clasping their hands together as they kneeled, guiding Wilbur through the prayer.

The third was Dream. The first thing Tommy did after being invited to Dream’s prestigious new server was build a giant path to Prime. He was a worshipper, he had more than a right. If anyone didn’t like it they could suck it up. Then, Dream had asked if he wanted to build a Church, and he couldn’t say no to that. They had sworn brotherhood as soon as it was finished.

The last person Tommy ever swore brotherhood with was Bad. It was some vague time between L’Manberg’s genesis and the election. Tommy and Bad had never gotten along, per se, but they were the only people who prayed on a regular basis. Even if they believed in different things. Even if Bad worshipped old, outdated texts, even if he thought of Prime so much different than Tommy did. Hell, he didn’t even think Prime was a woman, and that had been text for centuries!

But he had put his hand on Tommy’s and swore that all the children of L’Manberg would have a place in the Badlands. “Prime is kind,” he had told Tommy with a smile. “They will protect you, I’m sure of it. But if you ever need shelter, I will be there, doing as they would wish me to.” He had sliced the skin of his thumb and held out the knife to Tommy.

It was weird, that Bad, of all people, was the only one who really looked at Prime the way Tommy did. Bad didn’t think Prime was the only deity out there, and he still worshipped old pantheons alongside Her, but somehow, he understood. Understood that Tommy couldn’t take gifts without anything to offer in return, just like Tommy couldn’t ask Prime for something without giving thanks and sacrifice back He understood that the only way Tommy could accept Chirp was if Bad called it “payback.”

Dream used to understand. Dream doesn’t give anything anymore.

Although, that’s not really true, is it? Dream took his home, and now he’s given him understanding. Given him a friend.

Dream prays with him. So maybe Tommy is the one who doesn’t get it, anymore.

Dream rises from his kneel, brushing dirt off of his knees. Tommy whispers the closing words under his breath and rises as well. Dream brings up a hand, ruffling his hair, and Tommy squawks, batting at his wrists even as he leans into the touch. Dream takes it away far too soon, laughing softly.

The mask turns him. “Do you ever think about repentance, Tommy?”

Tommy blinks, startled. “What?”

“I mean, you haven’t exactly been the best person. Shouldn’t you have to pay for it? Repent?”

It’s a fucking weird thing to say, is what it is. The Prime that Tommy grew up with didn’t persecute mortals for their sins. When you do wrong you ask for forgiveness, but… punishment is for mortals to enact on each other. Divinity isn’t involved.

“I- I dunno. That’s not really, not how it works, innit?”

Dream hums. A bolt of anxiety races down Tommy’s chest. “But you… Tommy, you’ve done a lot of bad things. Do you really think She can forgive you for that, just because you worship Her?” Tommy shivers. Of course, he doesn’t think that. He asks for forgiveness sometimes. But does he ask enough?   
  


Tommy shot Jack into lava a few days ago. That was horrible. There wasn’t even a reason. Why did he do that? That’s not something Prime should forgive while he’s alive. Fuck. When is he going to get it through his head that Dream’s always right?

“No. But I don’t- how would I even  _ do that?” _

Dream sounds just as lost as Tommy when he says “I don’t know.” His voice gets tighter. “But have you considered that  _ this  _ is a punishment from Her? A divine chance for retribution?”

Tommy scratches at his elbow. He hadn’t considered that. A final test, maybe, before he passed into Her kingdom forever, but not a  _ punishment. _ “Do you think so?”

“I do.”

It hits like a kick in the teeth.

Dream is silent for a long time, just watching Tommy scratch up and down his arms. “You should pray,” he suggests, even though Tommy just did. And Tommy doesn’t need another second of quiet; he’s on his knees before the words have settled in his ears.

“Lady of Earth, Lady of My Soul, Lady of the Great and Eternal Garden,” he murmurs. He should be doing a prayer for forgiveness, but his mind has settled into a prayer for the dying. Is there much difference, anymore? “Grant me safe passage. Judge my soul fair. Cradle my head as I go, deliver me softly.”

He’s about to continue with the second part of the prayer when a heavy boot comes down on his back, knocking the wind out of him and sending him straight into the dirt. He yelps and the boot digs in harder. “You don’t deserve that, do you, Tommy?” Dream says, voice so cold that it gives Tommy chills. “You don’t deserve Her.”

Dream pushes more of his weight down on the boot. Tommy tries to wriggle his arms free from where they’re trapped under his chest. “Fuck off.”

Tommy heaves in a deep breath as even more weight is added, finally managing to get his left arm out, sending it up towards Dream’s leg.

A hand comes down and grabs it at the wrist, Dream leaning down, practically kneeling on Tommy as he pins the hand behind his back. Tommy gets his other hand free, but Dream just uses his other foot to step down on the fingers, making Tommy groan.

“Admit it,” Dream hisses. “Admit that you don’t deserve Her forgiveness.”

Tommy spends another few seconds twisting and bucking under Dream before he finally stills. “Fine! Fine, I don’t deserve it! Fucking ‘ell, is that what you wanted, you fucking psychopath?”

“You don’t deserve to worship her at all.” Dream sounds  _ pissed.  _ Despite himself, Tommy can feel the shakes of fear running down his spine. He doesn’t have any armour or things. What else can Dream break?

“Don’t know what you expect me to do about it,” Tommy grumbles. He swallows. The fear is going to make him sick.

“Easy. Renounce her. Admit you’re not worthy of believing.”

Tommy’s blood goes cold. He can’t do that. He can’t. He can’t. He can’t. Prime is a  _ part _ of him. Dream can’t take this. He’s not supposed to be able to take this.

The boot on his hand grinds down and he yelps in pain. “Tommy,” Dream sighs, sounding disappointed. “Why are you making this so difficult? You being a worshipper… it doesn’t help the cause. You are a- a  _ blight _ on the name of Prime.”

“I’m not.” It sounds hollow, even to Tommy’s ears.

“Yes, you are. Come on, Tommy, it’s only going to get worse if you keep being so stubborn.” Tommy knows what worse means. But maybe he hasn’t even seen the beginning of it. Maybe a little cut with an axe or blowing up his shit is weak compared to what Dream will do now.

“The fuck you gonna do, bitch?” Tommy asks anyway.

He hears the sound of Dream’s sword coming out of its sheath and then watches it plant into the ground a few centimetres from his hand. Tommy breaths out shaky. Shit, fuck, why couldn’t he just-

“So, Tommy. Do you wanna do what I say, or do you want to find out how long it takes for Netherite to saw through fingers?”

He does it. He cries. 

He doesn’t remember much after that, is a funny lie he likes to tell himself. He doesn’t remember Dream letting him up and shoving an axe in his hands and the way it sunk into the shrine. He doesn’t remember the splinters in his hands and the wretched sobs that tore themselves up from his stomach. He doesn’t remember the way Dream hugged him, wrapped him up, told him how well he did, how proud he was.

He sits on top of the tower, his arms crossed over his chest, but he can’t get the words out.

**Author's Note:**

> yo i post every sunday. sometimes multiple times a week. so subscribe mayhaps?
> 
> ill try to respond to every comment :D


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